Showing posts with label School. Show all posts
Showing posts with label School. Show all posts

Nov 4, 2014

After the Holidays


After a week of holidays I've now started studying again. Mondays are fun, but we have a huge workload. Every time the teachers are giving us a little bit more to do. I've tried to do as much studying as I could during the weekend. Fortunately my friends and family were a big help. They brought me food and refreshments, they came in for a chat when I needed a break and they left me in complete silence when I needed it. I made a lot of progress and managed to make my deadline. Today I had to hand in an important paper. I had to do a literature study about library marketing which is the first stage of my thesis. It will take a while before I have to write the entire thing, but by dividing the work in smaller assignments our professors are hoping that we'll all be able to graduate without having to choose between our studies and our job.
Edward loves to get updates about my progress. He tries to teach me as much as he can and I've started to see him as my mentor. He's a bit of a father figure. I'm still getting invites to all of his parties, but now I'm also being asked to join him and Victoria when it's just them. They've been a huge support when Calvin left me and then again after Seth passed away. If my sister's ready for some good company they will welcome her with open arms. I've asked her a few times if she wants to go out with me, even if it's just for tea, but she isn't ready yet. I'm giving her all the time she needs, but am making sure that if she's ready I'll be there. I don't think I would have been able to help out as much if it wasn't for Edward. He doesn't mind if I come in late when I have to comfort Dawn or take my nieces and nephew to school. He lets me leave early when there's nobody to pick them up and he gives me a hug when he thinks I need one. He also told me to relax every now and then, because he thinks I'm doing too much.
I took Edward's advice and since today my weekly tea meetings with Rian have resumed. He's taught me so much about writing and the process of submitting a novel. He's preparing me so I know what to expect when I send in my manuscripts. He's a best selling author now, but it took him a while to get there. He's also told me more about his inspiration and where he gets his ideas. Since he's less sad he also isn't serious all the time, he's joking and goofing around and it's great to see that side of him. He had a rebound relationship, but he's back to being single now. He's enjoying his freedom and I'm dreaming of a relationship. That's life I guess. I know I will find mister right some day, but I'm sure it won't be Rian. We get along very well, but we're just friends.

Sep 16, 2014

Lavender's Update



My weekend was really busy. I worked for Franka on Friday night. Her regular hostess at the restaurant has been ill for several weeks and I'm filling in for her during the weekend. It means I hardly have any free time left. I also still try to help Dawn with her household and her online shop. Her business is doing great and she starts earning more and more money. Unfortunately it isn't enough for her to quit her job yet, so she has to work as many hours as possible. When I help her out she sometimes let me shop in her closet. This time I've found this great green Joseph dress. She told me it looks better on me than it does on her, so I can keep it. I love my sister and she's such a generous person. She doesn't deserve to be so unhappy.
Today it was another school day. We need to visit each other's workplaces to learn. I think that's a great assignment and I'm really curious to see where my book club friends are working. We also need to learn how to write promotional material. Rian is teaching that class. Next week we need to hand in our assignments. I'm extra nervous now, because I know him so well. When we were sitting at a table in our regular teashop after class I told him about my insecurities and he tried to reassure me and he told me it's going to be fine. That was really sweet. Finally we had time for our regular tea and cake meeting again. It was so great to catch up. He's dating again, but he doesn't want to commit to anyone. He's too afraid to get hurt. It's such a pity as he's a really nice man. I've met his brother and I don't understand why his ex-fiancée decided to date him instead. They're going to get married and even though Rian doesn't like the idea it didn't leave him devastated. We even ordered champagne after our tea to celebrate that he's over her.
My book club meeting was fantastic as usual. I love reading with my group of friends. I'm really glad Aislyn has one of her own so we can compare experiences. She's a nice girl and we get along quite well. It's still very new for me to play the boss, but I'm sure it won't feel like I'm only acting after a while. We're planning on throwing a bookish Halloween party together. I can't wait, I love the idea.
 

Sep 1, 2014

Back To School!


I went back to school today. On my first day I wore this navy Hobbs dress. We had to start with a presentation about everything we learned during the summer. Our assignment was to do as much as we could to draw visitors to our institutions. I didn't work on it as much as I hoped because Calvin broke up with me. My long holiday with Celia was a welcome distraction though and I didn't want to miss out because of a good grade for one assignment. I did what I could and talked to my boss. I had some ideas and Edward was happy to tell some of the staff to execute them. I think I've done pretty well considering. I also passed my summer school assignments, all of them. It's a miracle, but due to my book club friends and Rian I managed. It was so good to see all of them again and to have a normal day together. 
I try to go out as much as I can during the weekend. It's a lot harder now that most of my friends have boyfriends. They often invite me, but I feel like a third or fifth wheel. I try to make as many appointments as I can and I've done nothing but helping out this weekend, so I didn't have one minute to spare to feel bored or alone. Dawn needed my help with her online shop and the kids and Franka didn't have enough staff for the restaurant on a very busy Friday- and Saturday night, so I've now got experience as a waitress to add to my resume. 
My usual Sunday morning breakfasts with Jenna and Lizzy are also still taking place. They want to talk about babies and weddings all the time, but I keep trying to tell them my own stories as well. Lizzy has asked me to go dress shopping this week. I hope she will choose a nice dress for me. I don't mind if it's pink of course, but I also don't want to look like a strawberry muffin.
My parents have talked about starting their own small holiday park. There's a lot of unused land around their house and they've decided to fill it with five luxury cottages. Retirement obviously doesn't suit them. They love each other's company, but they like to work. My mother wants to serve meals for the guests a few times a week. She's also looking forward to the decorating so much that she's asked me to browse furniture catalogs several times now. It's fun to make all the choices together and I'm having a great time. I can't wait to help out and meet the guests. 

Aug 29, 2014

Lavender's Working and Studying: A Summary


I'm a librarian and I love my job. Our library is modern, with a lot of windows. The walls of glass are giving me a great sense of freedom, because when I look around me I can see the sky. The library is located next to a shopping center. Around the corner there's a small theater and a museum. Everything is fashionable and new. It looks quite stylish if you ask me.
 I love the interaction with our customers. Especially the regulars. Of course we have to be silent, so people can focus on their reading, but there's a coffee corner where talking is allowed. We share it with a large bookshop which is downstairs. I love it and am often popping in to see if they've got something new. My good friend Zoe is working behind the counter of the café. She's a philosophy student who wants to enjoy everything she does. She's in no hurry to graduate and is doing as much studying as she can just for fun. Gina is working at the art library next door. We often meet for lunch or we go out for a drink after work.
My boss, Edward, is a wonderful man. He's kind and generous and he's getting along with everyone. He's also posh and rich and a little bit stiff, but with a great sense of humor. He and his sweet and caring wife, Victoria, have a large city home and they often invite people over for dinner. I love their parties and feel very much at home with them, which is great as I regularly stay the night. I really like my boss. He's working at the library for fun. When my former boss Nanette freaked out, he immediately stepped in to replace her. Now I'm next in line to run the place. That's scary, but they're making sure that I'll be prepared.
Every Monday I'm taking classes. One of my teachers, Rian, has become a great friend. He's a crime writer and I'm a big fan of his work. We usually go out for tea and cake together at the end of the afternoon. Because of him I now always look forward to my Mondays. I'm also lucky that I'm part of a supportive study group. Nolan, Betsy and Christie are my fellow reading addicts. We are all trying to become authors and we're only studying to have a plan B. We've started a book club and are meeting every Monday evening to discuss our own stories and our favorite fantasy- and urban fantasy books. 
I'm glad I've met all those special people, they've made my social life so much brighter. I'm lucky to have such a great job. I love being surrounded by books and the best part of my day is when I see a smile on someone's face because of a book I've recommended.

photo credit: boltron- via photopin cc

Jul 4, 2014

My actual birthday


Monday was kind of a boring day, but when I got up there was a surprise breakfast with three books next to it, an extra present from Calvin. He was already at work, but he made sure there was a nice surprise when I got up. He also wrote me a note to wish me luck with my exams. Exams on my birthday? It was the last thing I wanted. I couldn't study much during the weekend, but I think I was well prepared, or at least I knew enough. It was the last day of exams, they're finally over! And that was a really good birthday gift. I'm so glad they're over. Studying while working full time has been very hard and I had a tough time getting everything done. The whole class went to the pub afterwards to celebrate. Everyone wished me a happy birthday and I didn't have to pay for my drinks.
When I came home there was a lovely meal on the table. Calvin had made a large quiche with a lot of vegetables and two different types of cheese. He knows how much I like that. Of course there was a delicious red wine as well, Calvin knows what he's doing. We had a romantic dinner for two and it was absolutely perfect. He gave me a massage after that and we stayed on the couch for hours, just snuggling and chatting. After having two busy parties that was the perfect ending of my 29th birthday. Next year I'll be 30, I'm already dreading it. It's supposed to be the year of change, at least that's what it's like among my friends and family. I wonder what this year will have in store for me.

Jun 25, 2014

Studying and Work


This wonderful Motel Arta Dress is from Asos. Even though I had to study this weekend I wanted to wear something nice. The weather was great, but I was stuck inside. I did some chores for Dawn, but other than that I studied. I want to pass my exams. I really like the courses, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to manage the library. I would like to be an author instead. That is something I can only dream about, because I haven't gotten very far yet. I know most authors hardly make any money and it's a hard and uncertain profession, but for me it's magic. 
I've printed the manuscript of my YA novel and I still can't believe I filled all of those pages. I'm not very happy with my work yet, there's still a lot that has to be corrected and fine tuned, but it's something I've achieved and I'm proud of it. Lately I often find myself thinking about life, my job and happiness and I've come to the conclusion that work isn't everything. Love is my number one priority and my second one is my books. I have plenty of stories to tell. For now I'll have to go back to my books and make sure I'll pass those exams as when you want to become an author you also need to have a plan B. Fortunately it includes a nice boss, some great colleagues and books all around me. I'm a lucky woman.

Jun 18, 2014

Rian's Request!


I had to study this weekend. I wanted to spend my Sunday evening with Calvin and I did see him for an hour, because he came over with dinner and snacks that were supposed to give my brain some extra energy. That was really sweet. I didn't sleep much, because I wanted to cram as much last minute information into my head as possible. When I was a student I used to procrastinate until the very end, but that has changed. I've studied as much as I could practically every day, so I didn't have to spend my entire weekend in various states of panic. We have to sit through six exams in total and this Monday were the first two.  That means I still have a lot of studying ahead of me and I have two papers to finish. When will I ever find the time to write?
I wanted to dress into something easy, but nice and chose this Asos floral maxi dress. The back is bare, but as it was cold anyway I could combine it with a cardigan. The exams weren't easy, but because of all the studying I should have passed both of them. Afterwards it was of course time for my weekly meeting with Rian. I keep forgetting he's my teacher, because he's become such a good friend. He looked a bit happier this week, because his publisher has accepted his latest manuscript. 
We talked about everything and nothing for a while, but I could see he had something on his mind. He had a request for me and it wouldn't be something I was going to like. Due to his nervousness I already knew before he opened his mouth to tell me. His parents will celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary next weekend and his brother will be there. Because he doesn't have a date and he doesn't want to go alone he's asked me to come. I really don't want to, but he needs a support group. Nolan and Christie will come as well, I've convinced him to invite them too. That way he will have enough back up, but it won't look like a date. I'm already dreading it, but anything for a friend right?

Jun 11, 2014

Writing and Revising

Pencil Case Asos

Even though it wasn't a school day on Monday I have a lot of work to do before the end of the first semester. There will be exams and I have to hand in several papers. I''m spending a lot of time writing and revising. I need a really tight schedule to be able to keep working on my manuscript as well. I don't want to stop, even if it's just temporarily, now that I've come so far. I'm quite proud of myself that I've been able to finish the story. I've also done a lot of editing and I'm having the time of my life. It makes me want to spend all my free hours on the book instead of my school work.
I have to write two essays about books. One is about heroes in the twentieth century and the other is an open assignment. I have to choose a classic work and then have to decide myself what I'm going to write about it. Those assignments are the hardest. Because there are no real limitations it's hard to know what to do exactly. I'm sure I will come up with something though. I still have to do so much before next week. Wish me luck!














Jun 3, 2014

An Update from Rian


My current courses are almost over. I've still got a long way to go, but I like being back in a classroom immensely. I wore this Modcloth dress to school yesterday. We had to do a role play. We were presented with a difficult case and each group had to work out a solution for the problem. It wasn't easy, but we had so much fun. Nolan and I have asked if the group can stay together for the next round of courses as we're all planning on doing the summer program. I think it will be all right, especially if Rian will take care of it.
Afterwards Rian and I went to a pub for our weekly chat. Of course I asked him about the job. He was tempted for a day or two, but he's decided to stay! He won't go away because he wants to keep writing his novels. Which means I'll get to do my writing course over the summer! Plus I won't have to miss him as a friend which is wonderful news. After two hours Rian left and my book club joined me for dinner. We stayed at the pub until closing time talking about books, writing and more books.

May 27, 2014

Rian's Dilemma


I borrowed this Burberry dress from Dawn. I really enjoyed wearing it, but I've already said my goodbyes. This one has to go back to my sister. She let me borrow it, so I could wear it to an event at school yesterday. An important politician came to tell us about dividing budgets and requesting funds. It was really interesting. Because it was quite a big deal that he came to our school a lot of the staff and several of their influential guests were present. This was the perfect time to increase my network. Before yesterday it was practically nonexistent, so I had to do my best to at least exchange a few business cards. I've met some interesting people, but I didn't feel very comfortable. I'm a bookish girl who doesn't feel at ease among a crowd like that. I needed to do my best to be social and I think I've done an OK job, but that didn't mean I had to like it.
Rian received several job requests. Someone has asked him to work for one of the largest media companies in the country. It means he'd have to give up teaching, but also that he won't have time anymore to write his books. The salary is great and it's a wonderful opportunity, but he likes his current situation very much. I'm curious to see what he's going to decide. It would mean summer school with someone else for me, so I hope he'll stay.  

May 20, 2014

A Very Warm School Day!



I wore this Love Ur Look city dress to school yesterday. It was such a warm day and inside the building it was a little bit too much. Fortunately our teachers were willing to teach outside, so we've spent most of our time in the sunshine. Afterwards I went to have my regular Monday tea with Rian. We chose a place with a garden. We drank iced tea for a change and we both ordered a big slice of lemon pie. Rian's life is still a mess. He's trying to find a lawyer who will handle his divorce for him. His ex-wife is making things extremely difficult, so he needs someone good to represent him. His siblings are all taking sides and some of them won't speak to him anymore. He's from a big family and they mean everything to him, so all of this is killing him.
We only have a few more weeks of lessons to go. Rian will be teaching summer school and he's asked me to join one of the writing classes. I think I will do that as it sounds interesting. He will be teaching this class. I found out that he's written several books, eight successful thrillers to be exact. He's using a nom de plume. When we started to chat about writing and our favorite books we completely forgot the time. Before I knew it it was six thirty which meant I was already late. I had plans to go to a restaurant with my study/book group and I asked Rian to join us. He didn't stay for the book club talk, because fantasy isn't his cup of tea, but dinner with the five of us was quite a success.

May 14, 2014

Book Club Talk: Shifters by Rachel Vincent





 Our Monday night book club met at a wine bar this time. Talking about books while having a good glass of wine and candlelight gives it something extra, a hint of magic maybe. We're still reading Melissa Marr's Wicked Lovely series, but this time we also talked about other series we love. The Shifters series by Rachel Vincent is one of my all time favorites. I admire the heroine, Faythe Sanders! I've read all of these books in just a few days time, I couldn't put any of them away. I'm a hundred percent sure I'm going to read these books again and again.

May 13, 2014

School and...

I wore this wonderful Tory Burch dress to school today as it was presentation time again. Even though I often read to a large group of people, on Fridays even to several easily bored teenagers, whenever I have to do the same for a grade it changes everything. I hate that about public speaking, the nerves, which are fluttering with their little razors in my stomach. I only want to have those other butterflies, the good kind. I managed to get through in one piece though and that was my last presentation for the semester. I make sure I'm always first in line, so the horror will be over as soon as possible.
I celebrated with having a hot chocolate instead of tea when I had my weekly chat with Rian. This time it was much more comfortable and easy. He told me about his love life, I told him about mine. We both laughed and he also cried. I felt really sorry for him. I ended up ordering two huge pieces of strawberry pie with vanilla ice cream for comfort. It helped, of course, who can resist something that delicious? Rian's such a kind man and I hope someone will make him very happy in the future. 

May 7, 2014

Monday Night Book Club!



I love Monday night book club meetings. They're always so great! We're currently reading the Wicked Lovely series by Melissa Marr. I've read the first two books and liked them a lot. I'll be reviewing them as soon as possible. Betty, Christie and Nolan are slowly becoming my friends. This week things were a little awkward at first though, due to my frequent meetings with Rian. Nolan knows him well, because they've been classmates in high school and Betty and Christie were wondering if I was sleeping with him, which they wouldn't have approved. Nolan warned me that Rian is pretty damaged and that I shouldn't go there at this moment. I could see the relief on their faces when I told them Rian and I are just friends and nothing more.
 When everything was out in the open the atmosphere became a lot lighter and soon we were chatting about books, school and boyfriends. They also told me an interesting bit of school gossip. Apparently some of our teachers aren't getting along very well. There are two departments, Marketing of Books and Business. The Business teachers think their colleagues are way too stuffy and the Marketing of Books people in return say they are conceited. They're now officially not talking to each other anymore. That's going to be fun when we have to get our grades. Some projects are mixed, I bet it'll become a huge drama.


May 6, 2014

Tea with Rian?


I dressed extra carefully in this Nougat London Violette Print Shirt Dress. I got this one from Dawn's closet as well. I borrowed it especially for this day. How bad is it that I wanted to look my very best on a normal school day? Even though I'd seen Rian at the wine tasting, or maybe because of that, things were very uneasy. The classes are pretty small and every two hours we have another teacher. There are twenty students divided in five groups. We have to do assignments at the end of the day which Rian has to supervise. He tried to avoid me in class as much as possible. At the end of the two hours he asked me to go out for tea though. I thought about saying no for a second, but then decided to go anyway, so we could have that much needed talk. 
At first he asked me because I needed some comfort because of Ben, but why he continued to do so I didn't know. It took a bit of effort, but in the end I got it out of him. He just wanted to be friendly at first, but then his wife left him for his brother and he could use a shoulder to cry on himself. He tried to tell me last week when we were standing outside, but then Calvin messed things up. The wine event was meant to give him some distraction, so he didn't want to think about it then. After my Saturday evening with Lester I'm glad that Rian just wants to be friends and I very much would like to listen to him and help him through this difficult time. We've agreed to drink tea together every Monday from now on. Plus he can always call me or send me a text whenever he needs me. I gave him a hug and that was it. No weird feelings between us anymore. He's too damaged to date anyone for a very long time, but secretly I still think he's yummy.

Point Flat Metallic Lavender Leather

Apr 29, 2014

Oh no!

Superdry Rose Dress

Yesterday was a school day and I was so happy to be back. I missed a day because of my holiday and last week we didn't have any lessons because of Easter. My favorite teacher, Rian, offered to help me catching up. Which is very nice of him, fortunately my book group already gave me their notes and all the necessary assignments, so I didn't need it. To make sure he asked me to have a cup of tea again, so I could ask him anything I hadn't understood. I would never say no to any extra time with Rian. He's cute and sweet and smart, the ideal teacher. I feel like a fourteen year old drooling over her high school teacher, only I'm not a teenager anymore and I have to be mature. Which is what I was trying to do. 
Everything went very well, until the end of our time together. When we went outside to say goodbye he lingered and clearly wanted to say something, but then Calvin arrived at that exact same spot and introduced himself as my boyfriend. I felt so embarrassed, like I cheated or something, while we aren't even dating. If there was a moment between me and Rian it was definitely gone and then to make it worse Calvin kissed me on the lips and took my hand to make me go inside again. I didn't really like that idea and told him to stop being so possessive. Then he took the hint and pushed me towards Rian wishing him good luck with me. I didn't know what to do. I apologized to Rian, but I don't think that really helped. He left without saying goodbye. I felt so stupid and I've clearly hurt Calvin's feelings now too. What a mess...

Apr 8, 2014

Ben on Sunday evening and my teacher on Monday


My aunt Giselle had ordered me two Tadashi Shoji dresses. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw them! Once in a while she does something extravagant for me and she knows my taste so well. I love my new dresses and I don't want to wear anything else anymore!
I wore the green one when I saw Ben on Sunday evening. When I came back from the wonderful writers' weekend I went to see him for an hour. We made out again and managed to go a little further this time, but we were again saved by the screams of a little boy called Samuel. It's getting a 'tiny bit' frustrating. Ben was so sweet though, he doesn't want to lose me and I could see he tried to show me how much he likes me. When I came home I found a card size drawing of hearts in all kinds of sizes and shapes in my pocket. Isn't that romantic?
Yesterday I wore the blue dress to school where I had to give another presentation. They make us stand in front of an audience so many times that we'll stop being nervous, at least that's the thought behind it. I don't know if it's working as for me it's exactly the other way around. Whenever standing on a platform close to my teachers I'm actually getting more nervous. Especially in the vicinity of one of them, the very nice man with the patient shoulder to cry on... Am I hopeless or what?


Mar 27, 2014

An update from Lavender

BLK OPM Elixir t-shirt Farfetch 

I'm back, not in my old form, but I don't want to abandon you. I might not be as regular as before, but I can't stop writing about my life entirely. I will give you an update and tell you what happened to me in the meantime. I spent Saturday night with Naomi. She asked me to stay. She's still a mess, but there are tiny improvements. Her apartment is for sale and so is Louise's. Naomi and Lizzy haven't made things right yet. Naomi told me it's too soon, but didn't say it will never happen. 
On Sunday I took Dawn's children to a book market. I went there together with Gina, the twins, Betty and my secret Valentine Jeremy. It was a lot of fun. A main part of the market was set up especially for children which was brilliantly done. There were reenactments of books, they could have their face painted as their favorite character and there were writers who were reading their own stories to them. I called Ben to tell him he should take Samuel. He did, when he was sure we weren't there anymore. It was fun though and I loved every minute of it. 
In the evening I had my date with Ben. He put a lot of effort into cooking me something delicious and the setting was very romantic. We made out on the couch again, but nothing more. I wonder if anything is ever going to happen, but he wants to take things slowly. I hope I won't fall asleep along the way. I still think he's worth it, because I like him so much.
On Monday it was a school day. At first I didn't want to go. I felt awful due to a cold I caught because of the crawling in the mud. Have I ever mentioned that I hate mud? I was still feeling pretty embarrassed when I saw my teacher again, but he didn't mention the week before. He asked me to have tea with him after class though and I said yes. He's such a nice guy and we couldn't stop laughing. In the evening it was assignment time and book club. We are getting a bit closer every time we see each other and the book talk is something I hope I will never have to miss again.
On Tuesday it was dinner night with the girls. They owed me big time for Saturday and I made Stella promise to never ever again involve me in something work related again. It is not for me at all. I think they all got that message on Saturday already. She made me chicken soup and a hot lemon drink for my cold and promised to cook me a four course dinner on an evening of my choice. That will make up for it a little.
Wednesdays still feel empty because I used to look forward to seeing Ben and Samuel so much. I miss them. I think Edward noticed that. He asked me to join him and his wife for dinner and they had a lovely surprise for me as author Jim was there as well. And several other people. They like to have dinner parties. Edwards wife is such a sweet lady and we got along very well. She doesn't like the cook though, so the party was catered. The food was delicious and she told me she hires those people at least once a week. They enjoy the company of good friends. Edward isn't like any boss I've ever had before, he wants to be involved and I think the same goes for me.
That was basically the story so far. I will keep you posted.


MISBHV Pluck yo hood sweatshirt Farfetch


Mar 18, 2014

Cherry Ice cream and Kelley Armstrong


For our reading group we've started The Darkness Rising series by Kelley Armstrong. It was a coincidence that we've all read the Otherworld and the Darkest Powers series and that the four of us all loved every single book of those series. Nolan's maybe the biggest fan of all of us. We started with our assignment, good students as we are, but finished as soon as we could to start the book talk. I can't believe how great it is to talk about books with people who have the same taste. I had such a lot of fun. I'm going to write a review of the first book now and then in the next few weeks we're going to read an discuss the others, which I will share on my blog then. 
There's nothing better than ice cream to go with book talk and I decided to make some myself. I used a great recipe from Evernew Recipes and was very pleased with the outcome. Louise stayed in her room during our meeting and I brought her some and borrowed her my copy of The Gathering as I'm pretty sure she will like it a lot as well.

Babbling to my teacher in Shabby Apple and Bettie Page


I wore this Shabby Apple Paradigm Shift dress to school yesterday. I combined it with a Bettie Page Button down short sleeve cardigan. I wanted to look as smart as possible for my presentation. I was the first one which made me extra nervous. I had to make a marketing plan to attract more library customers. I think it went well enough. I didn't get a grade for it yet, I will hear that at the end of the semester. 
I tried to cover up all traces of crying about Ben's decision to take things more slowly and see me only one night every two weeks, but I think I didn't manage very well. After my last course the teacher asked me if we could have a talk. Then he invited me to have a cup of tea together. He asked me why I looked like I could burst into tears any moment and I told him, in detail. I feel like such a loser, who would pour out their heart to a teacher? 



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