Mar 17, 2014

Ben's nasty news


I made some lemonade iced tea using a recipe from My Recipes for when Ben would come over. It was strange to have him in my apartment when he was surely going to deliver bad news. I also had Louise as a guest still and asked her to stay in the bedroom, so Ben and I didn't have much privacy either. I was so nervous as I thought he was going to break up with me.
He told me Samuel was very upset when we came back from Disneyland. Apparently I was the reason as I wasn't his mother and we had fun which he felt horribly guilty about. He couldn't stop crying. Poor Samuel, it must be very hard for him to see both of his parents with someone else and he doesn't quite understand it yet. Ben does want to keep seeing me, but he wants me to stop seeing Samuel for a while. His mother also has someone new and they both decided that they will let him get used to having two separate families very slowly. That means no more library visits and father and son dates from now on. I understand, but I'm so sad as I'm going to miss him very much. I couldn't stop crying last night. I felt pretty stupid about it as Ben is still my boyfriend, but somehow it doesn't feel the same. Plus we have a lot less time together now. It was already quite limited and now it's just one single evening every two weeks. I don't know if I can do that. I'll just have to wait and see.

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